‘You still haven’t told me what you are doing here.’ ‘I’m here to help you live your life. You’ve been wasting it.’ ‘I have not!’ she said indignantly. ‘I’ve been leading a good, wholesome life. I’ve always supported charities and given my time up to help them. I go to church regularly. I pray for others all of the time.’ ‘And what do people think of you?’ ‘I… I don’t know. They think that I’m a good person. But does it matter?’ ‘Answer me this, if you stopped going to church, would anybody notice?’ ‘Of course! I mean, they must, mustn’t they?’ But then she considered the question. Would they really notice that she was missing? She had flu last year and missed two Sundays in a row. Nobody said a word. Nobody had noticed! ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ she questioned. ‘You mean, what are you going to do about it? ‘You are going to start behaving like a normal human being. Doing things that aren’t necessarily right, but feel good.’ ‘But not bad things. I couldn’t do bad. Christmas came and went.A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.It read:Dear God,How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.By the way, there was $4 missing.I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.Sincerely, EdnaThis is a story from Pat and his dinner date ... Now you know why he doesn't have a girlfriendMRE Dinner DateI had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner. After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY, definitely had never eaten before. I got out my trusty case of MRE's. (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) Field rations that when eaten in their entirety.
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